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The Toast

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Tips, Hints, Advice, Quotes, Jokes for Best Man or Maid of Honor Toast

Was I really the "Best" the groom could come up with?

This toast is going to be short. My name is already printed in the program, what are they going to do?

(to the groom) So, if I'm the BEST man, what does that make you? (pause) You're a very lucky man.

(from the father of the bride) When I got married I found out there is a lot of work to do. So I thought, 'I'll have kids to help me.' After 4 daughters, I realized it wasn't working. So, GROOM, you're plan B.

The groom is the kind of guy that you would trust your life with, or in this case, your daughter

I'm going to keep this short and sweet... like the bride and groom.

I remember one time that the groom told me not to do something because he was afraid I'd screw it up. Standing here as the best man, obviously, either I've improved or he doesn't care anymore if I screw.

I wasn't sure how to start the toast, so I googled it. Please pretend that I just made an off-color but still funny joke to start the toast.

The groom is great, wonderful, kind. But just remember that I AM THE BEST MAN here.

I'm the best man? Was I really the best he could come up with?

We've known each other since elementary school. This is the guy I played Star Wars Trivial Pursuit with, rode around on our bikes with, ate whole bags of candy. But enough about the bachelor party.

(from a family member) For everyone who's been lucky enough to meet (the groom), I got to grow up with him / see him grow up, etc.

I didn't know how to be a best man so I looked it up online. I still am not sure what a best man does, but I know what a best friend does because he's sitting right here next to me.

We might have partied a little too much at the bachelor party. I'm glad to see Mr. Smith (the groom's last name) here after last night. I'm referring the groom's father.

In the beginning and the ending, it's all about persevering with your love and commitment through the myriad of good and bad things that happen. Ltaylor

I am happy to be here tonight. When the groom wanted a best man, he went to the smartest man he knew. (Pause) When he said no, he asked the most handsome man he knew. (Pause) When he said no, he asked the most popular man he knew. And, finally, after being asked 3 times, I agreed.

Let your true colors shine for the whole world to see. You are BEAUTIFUL!

A good speech is like a mini skirt - short enough to keep it interesting, long enough to cover the essentials.

May your love be modern enough to survive the times, but old fashioned enough to last forever!

"good evening ladies and gentlemen, a best man's speech should last as long as the groom can in the bed room" brief pause "on that note, thankyou and have a great night, cheers!" begin to walk away from mic, let go back and begin real speech!

Always remember to end a fight with two words, "Yes Dear"

I would like to welcome (bride) to the family. This is probably a good time to mention our strict 'no return' policy.

Sincerity is the key to a good toast. (pause) I sincerely apologize for my toast.

The bride is a very beautiful person. Anyone who does not know her could tell she is a (and then say her maiden name).

I don't know how she chose the groom. It was either her taste in men, or her bad eyesight.

The bride was successful in the dog-eat-dog corporate world. I guess she is ready to meet the groom's family

"A great flame follows a little spark" - Dante Alighieri

May the joys you share today be the beginning of a lifetime of great happiness and fulfilment.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage.

"My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me." - Henry Ford

"When a woman steals your older brother, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him." Woman and older brother can be switched with other relationships.

"Don't marry a person you can live with. Marry somebody you can't live without."

"What matters is our attitude toward the facts, rather than the facts themselves." - Viktor Frankl, this concerns forgiveness and a postive attitude.

"Love never presupposes it can be discerned or felt without expression." - Leo Buscaglia

"In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage." Robert Anderson

"Bride", you're a wonderful person and you deserve someone special. "Groom", good thing you married her first.

"A good marriage is like a casserole, only those who made it really know what goes in it."

Don't use, "May all your ups and downs be between the sheets." It is inappropriate and you should want their "ups" to be everywhere.

“Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good taste in men!”

“I would like to make a toast to lying, stealing, cheating and drinking. If you're going to lie, lie for a friend. If you're going to steal, steal a heart. If your going to cheat, cheat death. And if you're going to drink, drink with me.”

"In the end, it's all about perseverance." - Dean Koontz in Forever Odd

We've known each other since elementary school. This is the guy I played Star Wars with, rode around on our bikes... but enough about the bachelor party.

Marriage is for better or worse. "Groom" you couldn't have done better. "Bride" you couldn't have done worse.

From a Parent, "When your child finds true love, you find true joy."

If you are the first of more than one toast, "There are several toasts, so take small sips, or borrow your neighbor's."

From a younger brother, "If you take care of her, like you took care of me, everything will be fine."

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